I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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