I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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