It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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