You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
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