The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Randomize
