Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
