New low: just hacked my moms facebook
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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