I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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