Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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