butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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