does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
