Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
