Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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