Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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