I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
