She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
worst night to have a conscience
This is the prime rib incident all over again
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
