I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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