hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
