let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize