what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
