saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize