I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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