Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
