I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
