I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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