We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
