I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
