I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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