I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Randomize
