But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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