We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
