Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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