glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
