I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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