Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
is that a dick in a sweater?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
