Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
