Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
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