Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
