oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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