'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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