I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
