It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
