I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
