I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize