did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
