On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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