sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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