Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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