So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize