My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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