Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
