Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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