do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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