I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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