You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
