Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
