what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize