I puked a lego.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
