Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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