I showed him my bush... on skype.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
