The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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