well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
