If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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