yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize