When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I think I am morally bankrupt
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
